Alex Padilla Arrested for Criticizing the Trump Administration’s ‘Stand ‘n Stuff’ Taco Policy

LOS ANGELES, CA - California Senator Alex Padilla was arrested Thursday for interrupting Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s press conference.

His crime? Aggressively criticizing the Trump administration's ‘Stand and Stuff’ taco policy.

After giving an update on the recent ICE raids and subsequent riots, Noem informed the press that, as part of the administration's mission to encourage more illegal immigrants to self-deport, President Trump was preparing to sign an executive order designating Old El Paso ‘Stand ‘n Stuff’ taco shells as the official taco shell of the United States.

Upon hearing the news, Mexican-American Senator Alex Padilla rushed the stage in a fit of rage and fury.

“NO! Stand and stuff taco shells are NOT authentically Mexican and will NEVER be accepted by the Mexican-American community,” Padilla screamed. “I don’t care what Donald Trump says; that pendejo can get his gums stabbed by a sharp piece of one of those abominations.”

Despite Padilla’s protest, Noem further offended Mexican cuisine by instructing ICE officers to feed illegal immigrant detainees only Beefy Chalupas from Taco Bell as they awaited deportation. 

At press time, Noem announced that Mexican Coke would now be colloquially called Beaner Coke to entice more Mexican immigrants to return home.