Biden Happy To See How Many People Showed Up To His Funeral

VATICAN CITY — As Catholics from around the world gathered to mourn the passing of Pope Francis, former President Joe Biden, mistakenly believing the funeral was for him, warmly greeted attendees and expressed gratitude for their presence.

“Thank you all for coming!” Biden exclaimed to a group of mourners who didn’t speak English. “It means… it really means a lot, you know, for all of you to show up to my funeral. Funny thing is, I feel more alive than ever!”

As the ceremony continued, Biden grew emotional, shedding tears at the thought of losing America’s 46th president and reflecting on the great things he did for the world.

When altar servers began their acolyte duties, Biden stood and approached the podium, preparing to deliver one of his signature folksy speeches about the memories he cherished most about himself. 

However, President Donald Trump quickly intervened, guiding Biden back to his seat and entertaining him with whispered anecdotes about his old friend, “Sleepy Joe.”

At press time, Biden was reportedly wandering the streets of Rome, handing out leftover campaign flyers from his 2008 vice-presidential run.