House Reps Get Matching Zelenskyy Tattoos

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After passing a $95 billion Ukraine aid package last week, a group of House Representatives - including Speaker Mike Johnson, Elise Stefanik, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, and Hakeem Jeffries - celebrated by getting matching tattoos of Volodymyr Zelenskyy. 

“It really just, sort of happened,” Speaker Johnson said. “I think Kevin [McCarthy] originally dared Steve [Scalise] to do it last summer, and it seemed fun. So I asked around and was surprised to hear others were interested. The key to being a good leader is knowing when to work hard, and when to let loose. Plus, I’ve never gotten a tattoo and thought this would be a good one to start with.”

This isn’t the first time Tattoo Paradise in Adams Morgan has served our nation’s elected officials. Hanging up throughout the parlor are photographs of elected officials and foreign dignitaries posing with their tattoos - including photos of President Obama and John Boehner showing off tattoos of each other's names surrounded by a heart, the Dalai Lama sporting a teardrop tattoo, and Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor donning a thigh tattoo of the Wu-Tang Clan logo. 

At press time, Chuck Schumer and Ted Cruz were reportedly asking fellow Senators if they’d like to follow suit and get a similar tattoo once President Biden signed the bill.