Saudi Crown Prince Shows Trump Cool New Way To Get Rid Of Illegal Immigrants For Good

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA – President Donald Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia on Tuesday for a high-profile summit with Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman. While the leaders focused primarily on trade agreements, the visit took an unexpected turn when bin Salman eagerly invited Trump to the rooftop of the Royal Palace Chamber to demonstrate a “cool new way” to address the United States’ illegal immigration problem.

After a swift elevator ride to the 51st floor, Trump noticed a man standing at the roof’s edge, handcuffed with a burlap sack over his head.

“Mr. President, I understand you have a lot of illegal immigrants,” bin Salman said with a grin as he pushed the prisoner off the roof. “You see? Once you round them up, take them to the tippy top of a very tall building—like your Empire State Building—and let gravity do the rest. We’ve used this method for decades to deal with the gays, and I’m confident it will work for you.”

Trump, stroking his chin, replied, “That’s very cool, Your Highness. I’ll have to think about it. But, you know, we still need folks to pick our avocados and make our taco bowls, which we love so very much.”

Sources close to the president claim bin Salman even proposed a deal akin to Trump’s agreement with El Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele. Under the arrangement, the U.S. could deport its illegal immigrants to Saudi Arabia, where they would be “efficiently processed” from the kingdom’s tallest rooftops.

At press time, Trump was reportedly considering other means to speed up deportation efforts, like building a giant trebuchet that would fling illegal immigrants back to Mexico.