Pope’s Brother Hopes He’ll Finally Say Grace At Thanksgiving

CHICAGO, IL - Robert Prevost made history on Thursday by becoming the first pope from the United States. 

In response, brother John Prevost said that while he’s proud of his brother, he hopes that this achievement will finally motivate Robert to act like a priest at family functions.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for the guy,” John told The Gas Lamp. “But now that he’s the pope, I hope he’ll say grace at Thanksgiving this year. He’s been a priest for like 40 years and has never once offered to say grace. He always says it’s because he doesn’t want to ‘steal the show’. What show? This is what you trained for bro. There’s no excuse now.”

Other family members, however, are worried that Pope Leo’s new power will get to his head.

“I hope he’s too busy to come around,” his Aunt Helen wrote on Facebook. “Every year he plays these mind games with us. One year when I was pregnant he kept saying, ‘You know, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins.’ whenever I reached for another deviled egg. He would say he was joking, but I know what he was doing. I don’t want to hear it anymore now that he’s the ‘Holy Father’.”

At press time, Pope Leo passive-aggressively sent a picture of his new garb to the family group chat with the caption, “Guess I’m going to be the shiniest and holiest one again at Christmas this year ​​🤷”.