Trump Celebrates Pride Month By Calling Everyone Gay

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Although President Trump has made it a focal point of his second term to eliminate social justice initiatives, he surprised many supporters when he announced that he would take part in celebrating Pride Month by calling everyone gay throughout June.

“Gay, gay, gay, gay. I can say that now, right?” Trump said facetiously in a press conference on Monday. “I thought that’s what this whole thing is about. Just this morning, I jokingly called Pete gay for not doing enough push-ups this morning. He got quite a hoot out of it, so I think I’ll keep doing it.”

After the press conference, Trump was asked by several reporters if he thought that was insensitive and potentially offensive to members of the LGBTQ+ community, to which the president promptly responded, “GAY, next question!”

At press time, Trump was reportedly considering signing an executive order allowing all Americans to say “faggot” without being chastised by white girls again.