France Still Waiting for Statue of Liberty to Activate and Kill All Americans

PARIS, FRANCE - 140 years after gifting the Statue of Liberty to the United States, the French government and people are still waiting for the giant killer robot to activate and fulfill its mission.

While the two nations have maintained a strong alliance for more than a century, the recent rift between President Trump and President Macron, coupled with growing frustration among French citizens over the massive influx of American tourists, has many wishing the robot their ancestors sent would activate.

According to a new report from Le Monde, the robot was supposedly equipped to take on New York City’s modest 1.7 million people when it was gifted.

However, 140 years and nearly 7 million more people later, French military experts doubt the robot can successfully kill enough Americans before being destroyed.

“We didn’t factor in Puerto Ricans, crackheads, or Knicks fans,” Armed Forces Minister Sébastien Lecornu said at a press conference. “These groups have proven that, when organized, they can take down almost anything.”

At press time, Macron was seen lurking at the base of the Statue of Liberty in the middle of the night, searching for the secret manual activation button.