Elon Musk Awkwardly Gives White House Staffers Elbow Bumps On The Way Out

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an awkwardly fitting end to his time in Washington, Elon Musk left the White House on Thursday, giving his fellow cabinet and staff members elbow bumps on the way out.

“C’mon, man, gimme one of these,” Musk said to an intern, sticking an elbow in his face. “I’ve got fake tanner all over my hands from grabbing El Presidente’s face, hehehe. Plus, it’s what all the cool DOGE bros are doing these days. Bump me, brother!”

Most staffers begrudgingly obliged, simply so he would leave them alone and move on to the next victim.

Some, however, like Attorney General Pam Bondi, refused to elbow bump the billionaire and threatened to expose him for his alleged frequent use of the n-word in cabinet meetings.

“Get the hell away from me, Elon!” Bondi was heard shouting as she swatted his arm away. “How do you have so much money and smell like dog shit all the time? If you try to touch me, I’ll kick your ass to outer space and make sure you never come back!”

At press time, Musk was seen haggling with a social secretary over how many boxes of White House M&M’s he was allowed to take.